Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Introduction to self.

For all of you out there that have recently graduated college and are discovering what paying bills is like, welcome. Maybe you don't have a job, maybe you have a job that blows (like me!), or maybe you are fortunate enough to be doing something you really like and are making bank off it (bastards...). I intend to make this blog be something you check in between doing "actual work" and checking for the 15th time. I have absolutely no direction and no method in making this blog, but I find it to be a better use of my time than sitting around wondering if drinking the bottle of Purell next to me will make me go blind and/or get me drunk.

So, an introduction to me: my name is Lauren, and I recently graduated with a Bachelor's of Science in Mathematics, which is said to be the most employable major presently. Well, I do have a job! I work in the math office at the university I graduated from, and my job is to help other math kids graduate. The irony is borderline poetic. Basically, I deal with variations of Past Lauren (who can be a real jerk sometimes) and try to guide him/her through the murky bog of undergraduate education. It's not very glamorous. Past Lauren would shake her head at future Lauren if she knew all the complicated proofs she did would amount to dealing with pissed off undergrads and reading fail blog 6 times a day.

Today, as a distraction, I have made an illustrated example of my roots! I only know a limited amount about my ancestry, but this is what I do know:

My father was born to Richard (of French roots) and Ruth (hella Irish). The snobs and the bog people rarely get together, but I guess I'm lucky they did, otherwise I wouldn't be here.
I have no idea where my mom's family came from. All I know, is we all ended up in the Washington/Oregon area and we're all extremely Catholic. When I was inquisitive as a child, I would ask my mom "What country are we from". Her response would be something like, "Huh, I don't really know. A little English, German, Danish, Swedish, Italian, Norwegian, you know, whatever. Shut up, you're American." So while my friends were flaunting their "Norwegian-Polish" heritage or "German-Spanish", I was left thinking my ancestor was merely the bastard sea creature that crawled out of the hot tub after what was probably an insane, violent European orgy:
Morning After:
So, through years of calculated, intellectual breeding, we get to me, the mathematician/bike mechanic/aspiring chef/waitress/time waster/ginger/BLOGGER! Enjoy this blog before my ADHD kicks in and I abandon it just like an orphaned snob-bog-Euro-trash-orgy-baby!


  1. Sweet lord above....thank you for this. Thank you so much. I can't WAIT FOR MORE!!!!!!

  2. too much fun, I especially like the Euro-orgy theory of your past...kinda like a weird creation myth meets south park. woot woot!

  3. Don't ever say "woot woot!" again, or I'll have to get you some mountain dew and a WOW account for Christmas.